Trust and Honesty

There are few things in life that are absolute, but trust between two people is one of them. You can't sort of trust someone. You either do or you don't. It's pretty simple.

Based on the stakes, people can be really careless with little things that might cause damage to trust. I had one client who would lie to her husband about how much she spent at the mall. She wasn't lying about that much. She'd just fudge the numbers a little bit. She'd say she spend $200 when she'd really spent $275.00. Actually she'd only done it a few times, more than once, but not frequently. When he found out he assumed she was lying about other things. He tore their relationship apart trying to figure out what about. She blamed him for their troubles when she started it over $75.00.

I had another client who had a shared Facebook account with his wife. They'd agreed on doing it that way. Before his 15th high school reunion, he started a private one. He did have a thought of using it communicate with his high school girlfriend. He didn't intend to cheat on his wife, but he knew she wouldn't appreciate him communicated with a high school flame. He did neither actually, cheat with or communicate with his ex. A couple of his old football buddies friended him on Facebook, and referenced the pictures he'd posted at the reunion, in front of his wife, who had the heart sinking feeling he was hiding something from her and of course he was, something small, but she couldn't see it that way. If it was so innocent why did he hide it? It ate her up.

The problem is trust is never a given. It's earned, and it's much harder to repair once broken than it was to build in the first place. Even the small things can do damage that can be irreparable, because trust is so fragile, and absolute. A relationship without trust is divisive and corrosive on many levels and love has a hard time growing there.

So, if you're going to be in a relationship remember, trust is absolute. It is or it isn't. Anything less than real trust and honesty creates shadows around the love that you want to create. (tweetable!) Before you risk it, carelessly or intentionally ask yourself if it's worth the cost. If you want to stay together I can almost guarantee it's not.

Lisa Hayes is an LOA Relationship Coach and Author of How to Escape from Relationship Hell and the Passion Plan. She is also co-founder of Good Vibe Coaching Academy, specializing in LOA Coach training. To get Lisa's FREE Audio, "How to Talk to a Man" Click here

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Building Trust In A Relationship: What You Need To Know

In any kind of relationship that you built, whether it's work, friendship or love, trust is one of the key factors to making it work.

Did you know that one of the most common reasons given for a romantic breakup or divorce is a loss of trust? If you can't trust someone, you can't love them. Love and trust are inseparable from each other.

If you want to build a more trusting relationship with your partner, these five tips will get you on your way!

1. Tell the Truth

Telling the truth can be a hard thing to do sometimes, but no matter how hard it might be, it's the right thing to do.

Even if it's difficult, it's not as bad as it will be if you lie and get caught. One lie can create a loss of trust that is impossible to recover. A little "white lie" can turn a small thing into a major issue. And once your partner has lost his faith in your word, he'll be suspicious of everything you say.

2. Communicate

The best path to a trusting relationship is through open and honest communication.

It's only through the time you spend talking together that you can really learn what's going on inside of each other; and the more you know someone, the more you trust them.

3. Keep Your Promises

While unforeseen circumstances can sometimes put a damper in our best laid plans, in general if you make a promise, you best be darned sure that you can keep it.

If you aren't sure, don't make a promise, it's that simple. It's much better to show up with a surprise than to make a promise you can't keep.

4. Don't Be Afraid to Say "I was Wrong"

We all make mistakes, there's no shame to be had in it. But when it does happen, you need to own up to it and take responsibility for it.

For instance, if you've been less than honest about something, you need to admit it to your partner and apologize - and hope that he'll be able to forgive and continue trusting you.

Coming clean is better than creating lie after lie to hide your mistake. And of course, don't make a habit of making the same mistake.

5. Have Faith In Yourself And In Your Partner

If you want your relationship to be strong, you need to know that you've made the right decision, and that you're with the right person.

If you aren't sure, you won't have the right foundation for building a strong relationship. However, when you have faith in your partner, he will have faith in you.

Do you often feel like you do not understand your man? Or are you single and have not been able to find Mr Right? Are you doing everything right on your first date with a hot guy?

If you have such questions, and more, you've come to the right place. Visit UrbaneWomen to find out if you are doing everything right, from how to apply the correct makeup for that hot date tonight to advices on how to improve your relationship with your man.

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