For Relationship Success and Satisfaction, Try This Approach

The sustaining connections we have with others are fundamentally emotional ones we create as we intertwine our own emotional life with that of another person.

Yet, finding how to form these deep, subjective bonds with others in healthy and mutually satisfying ways can be a huge challenge - a process that can be overwhelming, especially if we undertake it without a guide for how to do it.

Luckily one guide we can use is the fundamental makeup of our own emotional selves. We can take into account each of the six primary areas of emotional life we have in common with every other human being.

Then as we weave our emotional life with that of another, we create emotional relationship connections that support all parts of ourselves and that do so in healthy ways.

We can start creating a healthy and mutually satisfying relationship in that way, and we can also use the same method to work in that direction with one that already exists.
The relationship evolves in healthier and more mutually supportive ways when each person agrees that:

1. We both have a right to exist; to have our own needs, feelings & wants, to be connected and to belong. We address these in our relationship in a process of loving negotiation and mutual cooperation.

2. We each have a right to explore and move in the world to gather our own sensory knowledge of the world and to maintain the connection to each other while we do so.

3. We support our own and each others' right to think for ourselves & be separate from each other, acting as individuals living our own lives and making our own boundaries while taking into account how our individual actions affect our relationship.

4. We have the right to find out who we are and develop our own place in the social world as individuals, as well as to develop a place for our relationship in the social world.

5. We each have a right to develop our own unique skills, priorities and values, to have our own opinions and grant that right to each other.

6. We each have a right to take responsibility for becoming increasingly in charge of our own lives, our life choices and their consequences.

When this agreement is at the foundation of the relationship, then each person can address these two fundamental questions separately and also with the other person:

How is each of us supporting these six inner parts of our individual selves in this relationship?

How are we supporting each other in all six areas?

The above is an excerpt from Emotional Development 101, where you'll learn all about inner subjective life and how it applies to you and all your relationships, including your parenting, grandparenting, work life, learning process, creative life and more. You will learn how to create a healthy emotional life and emotionally healthy relationships. I invite you to check out the class outline and free audio introduction at http://www.emotionaldevelopment101.com/.

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5 Tips on Having and Keeping a Healthy Relationship

Having and maintaining healthy relationships are like jobs that are worked on 365 days a year 7 days a week and every bit of 24 hours a day. Here are 5 tips on how to keep your relationship together and keep it fresh.

Tip #1 Communication is imperative

You will hear it time and time again on the internet or in books but it is true and I will elaborate. Whenever two people rose in different households and with different upbringing come together to form a relationship they are bound to clash in one way or another. Talking to each other about these differences will help the other to understand it better. Talk and listen to what the other has to say and its imperative to put yourself in the others shoes. You may not agree but at least you may get to the root of the issue and can deal with it from there.

Tip #2 Say I love you (if you mean it) with your words and with your body!

It's one thing to say I love you, those words are important to hear for both involved whether you're 25 or 85, but showing it comes hard for a lot of us. Playing with your girl's hair or a firm grasp of the waist line are just a couple of subtle signs for men to use. Ladies have it a little tougher because most men are figures of strength and that foofy foofy stuff doesn't really affect us (yeah right we need it too). Grab his butt! Yeah I said it, grab a hand full just for fun, it shows interest and we need that from time to time. Other things for women is play with his hair or head (if he has none), and grabbing him from behind laying your head on his back is a really good showing of emotion. Men are for the most part visual so you can use your imagination to fill in some areas there.

Tip #3 Spend time

I know it's tough in this economy and with busy schedules. But a date night could be a picnic or camp out in the back yard, or you even start a new TV series together (True blood would be my suggestion). Time is equally important as each of these tips. If you don't have the time MAKE IT. It greatly improves the health of your relationship.

Tip #4 Be open emotionally

A great quote on this tip comes from Dr. Seuss, "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind". I know right, go ahead Dr. Seuss! This is one of the powerful ways to keep a relationship together. Let your significant other in without the fear of getting hurt. You have to be strong enough, the both of you, to allow your partner to help you unpack any baggage that you may have.

Tip #5 Don't have all the answers!

Last but definitely not least, nobody likes a "know it all" and the same holds true in a relationship. Sometimes it's OK to be wrong, that's how life lessons are learned. Falling only means learning to get up. This is an extremely hard one for most of us, especially when you love the one who you are allowing to fall. But if you come to the rescue all the time you will continue to have to come to the rescue and your significant other will never learn.

Being in a relationship is like looking into that mirror that shows every flaw, everything beautiful, and one that can show you your future. It's up to you how you handle seeing these things that you may have never seen before. It is hard work but worth it for the right one. What do you think?

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Website: http://www.morethanacrush.net/

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How To Get Him Back Even If It Seems Hopeless - 2 Essential Strategies

Reclaim Your Love Today!

There are many more reasons people fall out of love as reasons they fall into love. After contemplating the reasons you and your boyfriend broke up, do you now want to know two of the most powerful ways to get your boyfriend back? You have a choice you can just lay back and dream about all the wonder things you enjoyed together, or you can get up and reclaim your love!

The Power Of The Male Ego:

The male ego speaks strongly to every man. It is simply out of his control. If you can follow this psychology of man you will have a much greater chance of winning him, while making him think he won you back. Applying these strategies can create a love that will be healthier for you and a love you both will cherish more and more.

Men Desire To Believe They Have Won The Prize!

Most men will not accept a woman into his life he believes is below him. He wants to believe he has "won" the prize that he has hunted down and won. This is the foundation of the male ego. Man is made for the hunt so let him chase you. He wants to feel you are his equal or above him. Whatever the reason, its time you show him that you are still the best choice these implementing strategies.

Many women believe that if they look terribly sad about their loss or even pathetic their ex-boyfriend will take pity comfort her. Well even if he does it is only temporary. What you genuinely want is a strategy to get him back forever!

Build Your Strategy:

So what is this "how to get your boyfriend back" strategy? First, looking pathetic and sad will only backfire on you. He will flee from you! You need to work from a position of power. This is confidence plus your loving smile. You need to reframe you life with things that make you happy and fulfilled; things that bring the best out of you.

Realize that he is still keeping tabs on you through your friends and social networks. The more fulfilling and positive you can make your life, the more interests you develop, the more you will appear attractive to him. When he hears about how well you are doing, he will remember all the marvelous things about the girl he fell in love with.

This will begin to dominate his mind all day long and create a passionate desire for you. He will remember those magic moments you shared together. He will remember you as the best girl he has ever met. Your strategy is starting to work on him mind. He will want those treasured times back.

Are You Ready For Step Two - Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

You now need to disappear from his sphere of influence. This will create powerful mystery and intrigue in his male psychology. You are using this psychology to your advantage. Suddenly, all information on you is gone!

Make sure you stay away from all of his friends. Do things you want like dance classes, tennis, and a fun community college class. Do the things that you haven't done in the past. This will create other activities you can share with each other. Plus, your conversations always full of fascinating topics. Be a mystery and he will be on your tail trying to get any information on you.

This strategy is working strongly on his male ego. He finally remembers how marvelous and exciting you truly are! Your efforts are creating a sense of loss in him. Curiosity may kill cats, but mystery will bring the life back into his efforts to win you back. The longer you keep this mystery going the greater the effects will be.

Rekindle Your Love - Forever!

Finally, when you feel you have made these positive adjustments in your life, it may be time to let him know what you are up to in an easy, subtle way. Take your time and establish a relationship starting out as close friends. In this way, he will soon realize there is an improved version of you, and he will certainly want you to be a significant part of his life once again.

You Are Now The Prize! But, Is He Really Worth Fighting For?

From now on, never change the fun and fascinating person you truly are. You now have the power so let him chase you. Lastly, decide if he is certainly worth fighting for!

This is just one excellent strategy on how to get your boyfriend back. Now take the next step and discover even more powerful strategies and tips not only on how to get your ex back but how to keep him forever. Click on the link below.

For powerful information on how to get your ex boyfriend back visit http://www.tipsongettinghimback.com/.

I will be adding several top quality articles each month. If you like this article add your name to the email notification list. Also, let your friends know about this by adding links to this article in your social groups and on Facebook and Twitter.

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Prepare For The Chase

The original plan for a woman's existence is that she was created to meet the needs of her husband. This means that her role as a wife - was to enrich her husband's life for the better and not for worse.

Unfortunately in our society 'where the idea is that women should have equal rights to men' - women have now become far more proactive than men in their search for their ideal mate. They are constantly on the prowl or lookout for 'Mr. Right', instead of preparing themselves for the chase.

It was God's initial intent for man to seek out his bride. These roles began to change as a result in the shift of equality between man and woman. This is unnatural and inconsistent with the principle of marriage, as men should pursue women and not the other way around. Men were designed to seek, hunt, provide, and protect, but his role has since become diluted and devalued and this works against mans natural instincts.

We are doing ourselves a disservice by meddling with God's perfectly thought out plan for marriage. Let's sit down and ask ourselves what is it that we can do to prepare our hearts for the life commitments we want to make?

The first thing we need to do is to detoxify our spirits from all of the bad and misinformed indoctrination that our culture as accepted as right and equal. Where as a result, women find now themselves emotionally hurt, alone, broken, and having to start all over again. I am not implying that a woman cannot be extremely happy with a man that she sought after, but what I am suggesting is that seeking out a mate comes with risks and potential failure. When a woman is being pursued by a man it not only gives her a self-esteem boost but it is also more exciting.

The beauty of natural and spontaneous order set out by God is that relationships flow naturally without stress, or unnecessary heartache. If you ask God for this strong heroic mate with a heart made of gold, a degree from Yale, a job with a 401k income, a nice starter home for a family of three, and a few mutual funds with a good rate of return, what do you think would happen? I believe that your request would not be impossible or unrealistic, but the question remains... from your list of must-haves, is what portion do you possess?

Well - God is not going to send you a gift that you can't handle, and nor should he. Put yourself in his shoes would he really desire a women with bad credit, a bad attitude, no education, selfishness, can't maintain a home, self-esteem, a heart full of un-forgiveness, and even complains about the air she breathes! Does this really sound like the wife of a man's dreams?

Ask God to wash and cleans your spirit, to modify your ways, heal your heart, forgive you of past failures, give you a sweet attitude, change your outlook on life, and turn your attention and focus over to him. Men are looking for a 'lady' not just a woman; they want the whole enchilada. If you desire to become a helpmate give yourself an internal makeover, it will help you to understand that your thoughts need to be redirected and adjusted so that the 'real you' can come forth. Make some new friends, pick up some new habits, and find a new interest that will help you on your journey.

Sometimes we want to be married because we are afraid of being alone. No woman wants to live a life without having experienced the safety and security of being captured by the strength of a man's love, and the experience of his arms protecting her through the night. However - we need to love ourselves first, have self-control, and enjoy being valued and adored by God, because he knows what's best for us.

If we surrender our will and selfish desires to God he will pour out his blessings on us that we are not worthy to receive. Relax and spend some quality time with yourself, do things that make you happy, go out with like-minded friends that share common interests, go places where you would feel comfortable meeting new people and experience a new flavor. God teaches us that 'It is better to be alone than in the company of fools'. Don't focus your attention on seeking a man, but focus on living and appreciating the extraordinary woman that God ordained you to be.

Remember and tell yourself this every day... You are a beautiful and pure gift that God made in his own image. Start to look at yourself from God's view, and as you grow with God's heart - you will see how you are becoming a more suitable friend and partner for life.

Men still love to chase! Let him do what he was designed to do! Check out http://www.themarriageseed.com/ and get the 411 on how to keep it together until he finds you.

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Trust and Honesty

There are few things in life that are absolute, but trust between two people is one of them. You can't sort of trust someone. You either do or you don't. It's pretty simple.

Based on the stakes, people can be really careless with little things that might cause damage to trust. I had one client who would lie to her husband about how much she spent at the mall. She wasn't lying about that much. She'd just fudge the numbers a little bit. She'd say she spend $200 when she'd really spent $275.00. Actually she'd only done it a few times, more than once, but not frequently. When he found out he assumed she was lying about other things. He tore their relationship apart trying to figure out what about. She blamed him for their troubles when she started it over $75.00.

I had another client who had a shared Facebook account with his wife. They'd agreed on doing it that way. Before his 15th high school reunion, he started a private one. He did have a thought of using it communicate with his high school girlfriend. He didn't intend to cheat on his wife, but he knew she wouldn't appreciate him communicated with a high school flame. He did neither actually, cheat with or communicate with his ex. A couple of his old football buddies friended him on Facebook, and referenced the pictures he'd posted at the reunion, in front of his wife, who had the heart sinking feeling he was hiding something from her and of course he was, something small, but she couldn't see it that way. If it was so innocent why did he hide it? It ate her up.

The problem is trust is never a given. It's earned, and it's much harder to repair once broken than it was to build in the first place. Even the small things can do damage that can be irreparable, because trust is so fragile, and absolute. A relationship without trust is divisive and corrosive on many levels and love has a hard time growing there.

So, if you're going to be in a relationship remember, trust is absolute. It is or it isn't. Anything less than real trust and honesty creates shadows around the love that you want to create. (tweetable!) Before you risk it, carelessly or intentionally ask yourself if it's worth the cost. If you want to stay together I can almost guarantee it's not.

Lisa Hayes is an LOA Relationship Coach and Author of How to Escape from Relationship Hell and the Passion Plan. She is also co-founder of Good Vibe Coaching Academy, specializing in LOA Coach training. To get Lisa's FREE Audio, "How to Talk to a Man" Click here

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